Up my nose

Ten of the worst: Jörg Pfützner, sommelier at Aubergine in Cape Town, considers some frequently encountered bits of myth and misinformation in restaurant wine service

According to the customer:

1 No aperitif thanks, we  had one at home
The word ‘aperitif’ comes from the Latin ‘apere’, which means ‘to open’. The purpose of an aperitif is to begin the evening, to open the stomach, to open our mind, to create a mood. An aperitif is not essential, but why is this glib reply from a guest (said with such conviction) so unconvincing? My reply is another question: ‘Could I get you another one, perhaps a sparkling water?’

2 I don’t need any help, thanks. I was born in the winelands so I know my wines
I myself was not born in the winelands; in fact, I come from a harbour town known for its fishing industry (and I know nothing about fish). I merely study wine – and even though I receive an enormous amount of new information on a daily basis, it is still a challenge to keep up with the new wineries, new wines and styles that appear each year. Just because you were born there doesn’t mean you don’t need assistance. The last time I was on a deep sea fishing boat I only managed to hook a 31cm shark!

3 This red wine is too cold; leave it to reach room temperature
In Germany they have Glühwein – the only sort of wine which should be drunk at a temperature over eighteen degrees Celsius. The term ‘room temperature’ comes from a time and climate when house temperatures were lower – and the cellars where wine was brought up from for serving were extremely cold. Even red wines should be served between fifteen to eighteen degrees: anything more than this initiates the release of volatile alcohols, and the fine aromas of the wine start disappearing.

4 I don’t want riesling, they are all too sweet
Perfect! These are people I have become fond of since my own penchant for rieslings began – they leave all the beautiful sweet, dry and off-dry rieslings for me to drink! In fact there are so many beautiful rieslings with just the right harmony of sweetness and acidity for accompanying any food. Beware of generalising about a such a versatile grape, produced in so many different ways.

5 Do I really have to pay corkage since the bottle is already open?
I really have been asked this. In most countries you are not allowed to bring your own wine into restaurants. Here in South Africa you usually can – but don’t forget that the business of restaurants is to sell food and wine; people make a living from it. Ergo, you pay corkage – you are using my glasses and my service.

6 ‘I brought this really old wine for this special occasion’
I see a lot of wines which were good a few years ago but which now are in the sort of condition that merely tortures guests.... No wine lives forever and not every wine is made to live for many years Lighter wines with less body and structure are best drunk young. To keep other wines over a long period as it matures to its optimum, you need good storage conditions – a cool, dark place at a constant temperature and humidity.

... and according to the person serving the wine:

7 I don’t need to taste the wine – the cork smells fine
There may be a super-smart sommelier somewhere who can discover a ‘corked’ wine just by smelling the cork and looking at the bottle. Maybe you are that good at picking up this sort of contamination (perhaps you should become a microbiologist instead?), but with the cork alone you are not likely to sniff out oxidised wine and other potential and sometimes serious wine faults. Smell the wine, taste it, and do not risk embarrassment in front of guests!

8 Look at this colour: clearly a good red wine!
I am tempted to ask the waiter how colour tastes when I hear this. Wines made from pinot noir grapes, for example, and old matured wines have less colour pigment and this has no bearing on their quality. Often, wines which are over-extracted have a deep inky colour, but have no finesse and complexity. Look at the whole picture.

9 Nowadays one can drink any wine with any food
You can. And you probably would, if you left your taste buds at home. It is true that new styles that have evolved in cuisine mean many more possibilities of combining food and wine than were deemed suitable before. As combinations of ingredients vary, so can the wines suited for each also vary. There are, however, certain principles in the harmony of food and wine. To discover new combinations can be fun and an adventure but it requires care and experimentation, as well as an open mind.