Five million euros at stake – but he must beware of unsteady barbers

The Dutch wine producer Ilja Gort is a man sensitive to the subtleties and value of publicity. Now he has had newspaper headlines all over the world for insuring his nose for a record five million euros.

Owner of a Bordeaux property, Château de la Garde, and Dutch labels such as La Tulipe and recently-launched Qool [sic!], Gort was insured by Lloyd's of London (no doubt with a fair share of publicity for the company as well). He has told various newspapers that his nose is essential for him to produce top quality wines.

Associated Press reported that the custom-made policy covers Gort for the loss of either his nose or his sense of smell and has some unusual conditions – such as that he is not allowed to ride a motorcycle or be a boxer, knife thrower's assistant or a fire-breather. Jonathan Thomas, an underwriter at Lloyd's Watkins Syndicate, took Gort's long, curly beard into account when drafting the policy and added a clause about Gort only going to experienced barbers who will keep their razors steady near his nose.

Some years ago the British supermarket chain Somerfield insured the tongue and tastebuds of its senior wine buyer, Angela Mount, for ten million pounds, saying her ‘olfactory system’ was vital to its wine sales. Restaurateur Egon Ronay also has his tastebuds insured by Lloyds, apparently. The most important nose in the wine business, though, is undoubtedly that of US guru Robert Parker – his nose is insured for a mere $1 million, however, which makes the little-known Mr Gort's policy seem a little hubristic by comparison.

In Dutch wine circles Gort’s capers are taken with a pinch of salt, in fact. The website Wijn.blieb.nl has called him one of the top operators in the mechanics of publicity, and not unknown as a stretcher of the truth. Gort is also a composer, and author of books such as Het Wijnsurvivalboek (surely no translation required).