Age, pre-eminence, integrity and old friends  
19 September 2006

Tempus fugit, as the old Latins used to say in italics – perhaps as they sloshed some honey or Pick ‘n Pay mixed herbs into their wine. And they were right (about tempus that is, and perhaps also in their disrespect for plonk – I can think of a few local wines that might be improved by a bit of marjoram and rosemary). To know the depressing ruthlessness of time I need only meet the eyes of the wrinkled old bag peering balefully out of the mirror at me.

But I was struck anew by the oldest and saddest of truths recently when I glanced at the cover of the Penguin Book of South African Wine. Its author, Michael Fridjhon, denies that the portrait of Bacchus there was modelled on him, but (complimentary) doubts have persisted. Time flies for all of us and no one would make an easy connection between the 1992 cover (even in the blotchy version alongside) and our present eminent and urbane leader. Nowadays, for instance, he no longer dresses casually in a few vine leaves and bunches of purple grapes. For me, a bright bowtie is no real substitute.

Pre-eminent
It seems, though, that there might be some people around who doubt – or simply didn't realise – Michael's ‘pre-eminence’. For the likes of them, a press release went round recently announcing that his status as ‘the country's leading wine judge and wine taster’ had been ‘confirmed’. Confirmed, yes! No doubts allowed any more, oh ye of little faith!

No sneers about cultural cringe here, please, but the confirmation consists in our Michael being invited to be something or other immensely significant by the International Wine Challenge for next year's judging effort. Now, all I really know of the IWC is that it delivered one of the year’s dodgiest set of awards (and exclusions) to Cape wines.

So I personally can’t take an appointment from this source as a confirmation of Michael’s skills. Which was unneeded anyway. Who was it, for example, who introduced us to the concept of ‘linearity’ in all its magnificent obscurity? Who has introduced us to the piercing accuracy of the 100-point system? Come to think of it, Michael was in charge of Wine mag’s Shiraz Challenge, the year’s other really hilarious set of preposterous results – perhaps that’s actually why IWC chair Tim Atkin invited him to his own little do.

The press release also reminds us that Michael ‘has been in the vanguard of directing the industry in its efforts to meet the quality expectations of international markets’. Remember that poignant pre-historic time: there was the industry in the early 1990s floundering about, agonisedly wondering how to meet these expectations! ‘We need direction’, went up the cry from the heart of the Boland (not to mention more dubious regions)! ‘Our vanguard is unoccupied! Who will interpret for our winemakers and viticulturists what the international market is requiring of them? Is there more to it than just leaving our grapes to get over-ripe? Who will tell Mike Ratcliffe that he must go to Australia to learn some ghastly lessons in marketing?’

Of course, fortunately the vanguard was not so empty after all – there was Michael already trotting up on his white horse (girt round with purple grapes)  to organise the SAA Shield against Australia in 1995. This was (we’re informed) ‘the event widely regarded as the watershed event for the new generation Cape wines’ – and if we’re told this often enough, perhaps it’ll become part of official history. But maybe the time will come when it’s not going to be something to boast about that one tried to make the Cape a sub-region of South Australia, producing wines with 15 percent alcohol levels. Personally, I’d much rather blame the Brit Masters of Wine who buy wine for Tesco et al.

However, I would be the last to be so cynical as to sneer at anyone who wishes to shed a tear of pride that Michael has been invited to judge in the big city. Let us all wish him well, and look forward to another press release announcing his triumphant return.

Another show, another journalist

Incidentally, it looks remarkably as though the person who writes press releases for the Michelangelo Awards is also employed by the Cape Times. How else to interpret the fact that a recent little article on the subject in the paper, while word for word identical to parts of a statement put out by Michelangelo, claims to be by a ‘Staff writer’. It couldn’t be, surely, that such a great bastion of journalistic integrity like the Cape Times would simply take over a press release and claim that it is their own editorial production? Surely not!

Old friends

Talking of integrity reminds me that a name I saw in a caption to a photo in WineLand not long ago rung a bell: ‘Gideon Theron, cellarmaster of Lutzville Vineyards’. Of course! one of the KWV winemakers who’d illegally adulterated sauvignon blancs a year or two back (and who still hasn’t been charged, it’s worth pointing out – I wonder why?). I was prompted to consult the Lutzville website, and there, with a nice picture of Gideon, it speaks of his ‘phenomenal history in winemaking and a wealth of experience gained both locally and overseas’. Yes, well, you can say that again…

I gather the Lutzville sauvignon is not exactly great stuff – clearly room for improvement. I do hope that Gideon, with all that ‘wealth of experience’ is working on it.

The other KWV lawbreaker, Ian Nieuwoudt, is apparently happily ensconsed at Citrusdal Cellars – also not apparently living in fear of the policeman’s knock on the door. It's a long time ago, of course. Time does indeed fly when you're having fun.